A friends of mine lost their daughter just a couple days ago. She was not a child but a grown woman with a husband. I cannot imagine or express their loss. I will never be a parent and will never know the sheer magnitude of that kind of loss. I have lost a parent. I know what that pain feels like. I have lost grandparents. I know what that pain feels like. I have walked with friends who have lost their spouses and children who have lost a parent. But I will never know what the pain of losing a child will feel like. And in some ways, I am thankful in strange way for that. I choose not to have children of mine own which will spare me from feeling that loss. I know that if anything were to happen the children of my friends I would not be spared that. So my heart hurts for my friends in a way that cannot be expressed well.
When my husband and I go to the service for our friend's precious daughter, I fear that all I will be able to do is say I am sorry. I remember the countless "I'm sorry" when my mother died. I knew that there would be many moments when people would say this to me. I always said thank you. I realized that there really was no other way to express to me their hurt for my loss. Many did not know my mother which made it a little awkward but I realized what they really felt was the realization that one day they would be where I was.
Saturday will be a celebration for their daughter. I will be there to let them know that I am there for them in some small way. The realization that we know how many yesterdays we had but will never know the tomorrows that we will get should not happen when someone dies but an every day realization. Each day should be shared in love even in times of grief and pain. And that we need to tell our loved ones they are loved. Because you are.