I told you all of that to bring some context to what I want to really talk about. At that meeting my husband, the amazing photographer that he is, took some pictures of Allen while Karen and I talked. Tim told Karen he would take family photos for her. She shared a really tough story with us. Not long before he died Steve suggested they get some family photos done. Karen said no, she wanted to lose some weight, she didn't want her picture taken. etc. Then he was gone and there was never going to be a chance to take a photo with him. The only family portraits taken of them was when Allen was really small. When Karen told us her story tears welled up in her eyes. And I felt the magnitude of what she was saying. We are going to book that photo shoot with her soon.
This past weekend Tim and I worked on some family photos with a single mom and her two children. Mom was hestitant to take some solo shots telling us that she hated to have her picture taken. I took her aside and told her that the photos her don't have to be for her. I told her the photos were really for her children and for the time when she is no longer with them in all ways that means. In the end she took some really great photos. And I know the kids will love them.
I know that I would love to have more photos of my mother because there will never be anymore of her. The ones I do have I hold on to like treasured gifts. I won't part with them. My mother said all the same things this mom was saying. I think I got through to her.
We are never too fat or too old or too whatever to take a photo. I know all too well the feelings of self loathing when it came to photos. I resisted it too. But now I know that even at what we think is our worst, someone out there thinks we are beautiful. Children do not see the flaws we see. Our beloveds don't see the things that we see. They just see us. And they just see how much they love us when they look at a photo. When someone is gone, there is never another chance at anything. Having a photo is a way we will never be forgotten. So take the photo.