One of the things on that list was BE KIND. This is a tough one in these times. So often I am bombarded with the absolutely hateful and disgusting way that people treat each other, especially on social media. Wishing someone would die, get some horrible disease is common place and absolutely vile. I recently remarked to my husband that if I was famous, I would not be on social media or if I was it would only include happy quotes or pictures of kitties and puppies. You can’t post anything without someone jumping in. Last night I posted that I thought it was time for all of us Democrats (yes, I am a registered democrat, have been for the last 28 years, not changing now) to stand behind our nominee. Shockingly so far, no one has said anything negative. Hoping it stays that way.
It is not just the political shit that gets nasty. How about all the comments about how someone looks?! I see the nastiest stuff about how people look, their size, their gender or gender identity. It is like open season on anyone’s flaws or imperfections.
A long time ago in galaxy far, far away, I worked for cell phone provider. I worked at one of their first retail and service stores. I was covering the front desk (not my normal job) when a man walked in and threw (yes, literally) a phone at me. It bounced off the desk and hit me in the chest. He started to shout at me about our crappy service, and I looked at him and said “Sir, do you have a daughter, a wife, mother, or sister? Would you want someone to walk in to their job and throw something at them, physically assault them?” He stood there and looked at me. “No.” he said. “So, why was it ok for you to treat me like this? And would it be ok if I called the police to report an assault?” He was stunned. Our Store Manager saw the whole thing, we had it on tape, I could have pressed charges… He apologized many, many times to me. Since he actually did not mean to hit me, he just want to throw the phone to make a point, I did not press charges and he remained a customer. I received flowers weekly for a month. I let it go at the time, now he would be in a world of hurt. The point I was trying to make was that he had disconnected me from being a person and made me a company which made it easier for him to be a jerk face.
We don’t know the road people have been down. We don’t know what has happened in their lives before we have come in contact with someone. If you look at me would you know I had cancer, been divorced, watched a parent die, been bullied most of my life, had someone stick a gun in face threatening to kill me, or been on a stage in front of 2,000 people accepting an award. You don’t know, and I don’t know about you. SO BE KIND. Be thoughtful. At least until they do something to be a jerk face and even then decide if arguing with them or being mean is the hill you want to die on.
Whatever hurt or hate lives in your heart, don’t push that on to other people. Start a blog (seriously helps), see a therapist, talk to friend. 99% of the time the rage and anger we feel and project on to other people has nothing to do with other people. It come from somewhere else.
When you are a leader or really a person or human being for that matter, you need to be a little kinder to everyone. We don’t always get to pick our teams. We may not like everyone we work with, so be thoughtful, be kind, be patient. People will remember you for that if nothing else. We are all different and we all have hurts. Don’t forget that.